The Walrus' Bucket List

Rating: 1

We ate dinner here in July 2024.

Pork belly burger with chips
Cauliflower steak

Pop quiz, when one orders a cauliflower steak, do you expect to receive:

A: a big slice of cauliflower maybe with some nice flavouring on it and assorted accoutrements
B: a sad collection of not-quite-hot cauliflower florets on an even sadder bed of pureed cauliflower
C: faintly rude and disinterested service, and a hefty price tag

Well if you picked B, you’re still wrong, it’s B and C for some reason. Why? We can’t tell you. But we can tell you to steer clear of this meal.

The burger was hovering somewhere between okay and good. It had very strong McDonald’s smell, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Also not a bad thing, the chips were absolutely covered in a pretty nice spice mix, a real shame that they were almost room temperature when they got to us.

In wintertime, one of Business Andy’s favourite things is mulled wine. He sees one, he orders one, unstoppable like the tides. This one set us upon a sea of regret. Do you not own a sieve Mr Walrus? It was choc full of a big piece of bay leaf and two entire cloves, floating around with a bunch of miscellaneous debris floating at the top, right in the sip zone. What was already a pretty average mulled wine anyway was rendered very unpleasant by all the bits.

You can take this place off your bucket list.