KFC

Rating: 1

We ate dinner here in February 2023.

Wicked wings
Colonel burger
Zinger stacker burger
Chips
Potato & gravy
Bread roll

The drive towards KFC, after we realised that we were going to be dining here thanks to the system, was perhaps the best part of Business Andy’s week. It’s no secret that he has been hanging out to review them for some time and has fond memories of chicken burgers past.

The dining experience at KFC was tense to say the least. We all know that KFC is the slowest of the fast foods. So it wasn’t a surprise when the queue for the drive in stretched into the road. Inside was no better. There were 17 people milling about in a very small downstairs dining area, with the larger upstairs area closed off. None of those 17 people was happy. We saw several snippy customers brandishing phones at underpaid and underappreciated staff: “This says my meal was meant to be ready at 6.10!” (note that this happened at 6.30). How were there still 17 people who thought that trying to get Friday night KFC was a good idea?!?!

The staff weren’t helping themselves, with a distinct air of I’m-milling-about-doing-nothing. One young chap was literally just following another around. Assumedly he was a trainee, but get the man a trainee badge or something please. It took 20-30 minutes from walking in the door to getting food, and a substantial amount of that time was waiting around to place the order. Not because there was a queue of people waiting to order, but just because the staff were ignoring people who were waiting. It was far from welcoming.

When the food finally did arrive it was a very mixed bag. It also arrived in a bag - despite advertising dine in on their door, they made no concession to people who wanted to enjoy the Kentucky fried ambiance. No spoon for the potato and gravy. No serviettes. Very few tables, and none of them clean.

Starting with Business Andy’s greatest disappointment, the burgers. The colonel burger was abysmal. Little flavour in the chicken, sad salad, the sauce was a non-event, and the pasty bun was dry and clung to the back of your teeth. The same bun problems were present in the zinger stacker burger, but this at least had some sauce and a piece of cheese to help spice things up, they had also dispensed with the salad altogether.

The potato and gravy was yum. It hasn’t changed in decades, and it’s still good. We happily dipped the mediocre chips in it, and were excited to get the bread roll involved. Jesus Christ what a shock. We simultaneously took a heavy dip of gravy on the bread and excitedly took a bite, then turned to each other, eyes wide, surprise on our faces. The sugar content in the bun was insane. It cut all the way through the delicious potato and gravy to be the overpowering flavour. It was a struggle to finish.

Ending on a high, the wicked wings were wicked. They had good amounts of meat, were spicy but not too spicy, not too oily, well cooked and moist, with a super crispy coating. They ticked all the boxes. Not much more you could ask from a wing. Perhaps this is why people keep coming back? Certainly if you do find yourself at a KFC, we recommend you steer towards the wings and away from the burgers.