Cafe Eminem

Rating: 2

We ate dinner here in April 2022.

Banana smoothie
Iced vanilla
Diablo pizza
Beef & lamb iskender

It’s so strange that there are two Turkish/Italian places to eat at in Palmerston North. Similar to Viva Cafe & Bar, Cafe Eminem is trying to be equal parts Turkish restaurant and Italian restaurant, and excelling at neither. Their decor was trying-to-be-fancy-while-not-spending-any-money chic, prominently featuring a fountain right in the middle of the restaurant that was not connected to any water.

Cafe Eminem was quiet when we got there, calm and ready to drop bombs, which they did in the form of two very disappointing beverages. The banana smoothie was clearly just crushed ice and ancient bananas, it was the colour of banana cake mix and about as thick. While we applaud the use of paper straws, and appreciate they at least gave wide bore straws, such straws just couldn’t handle the fortitude of these drinks. About half way through the drink the straws were completely collapsed. We tried tearing the straw, and turning it upside down, to no avail. The iced vanilla tasted like a watered down McDonald’s milkshake and was just as thick as the smoothie.

The iskender wasn’t too bad. Could have used more salad, and points off for not having any Turkish bread, but at least there was plenty of sauce, the rice was fresh and the meat wasn’t dry. The pizza was very heavy on the mozzarella, to the point of stringy absurdity at times. It was pretty flavourless, with the salami being beyond mild, and the onion was raw.